Uma mulher sábia, mãe de três homens, um dia disse: um pelo de buceta tem a força de mil homens. Achou forte? Então, melhor nem ler o resto. Você pode ter a fragilidade dita “feminina” ou pior: acreditar que a expressão “colocar o pau na mesa” ainda é válida na sociedade atual.
Claro que um pinto, pênis, dito cujo ou qualquer substantivo que você queira chamar o membro masculino ainda tem validade. Quem somos nós para destruir a anatomia humana não é mesmo? O que queremos mostrar (há anos!) é que, ao contrário do que o patriarcado tentou comprovar, as mulheres sempre decidiram a porra toda, amores. Afinal, não se esqueçam que a história foi escrita por homens – e eles amam aumentar o tamanho do seu patrimônio, diga-se!
Colunas anteriores
Vamos lembrar duas coisas muito importantes – que um presidente, quatro filhos e muitos assessores se esqueceram. Primeiro, TODOS eles nasceram de uma vagina. Sem ela e um útero, nenhuma mente ignorante ou brilhante viria ao mundo. Isso nos leva ao segundo ponto e uma conclusão ruim, mas -fortes que somos – suportável: somos culpadas por pari-los, porém também somos nós que parimos os salvadores. Assim, nossa redenção é clara.
Sabemos e conhecemos muitos inventores ao longo da história. Se você pesquisar, parece que só eles é que fizeram tudo no mundo. Eletricidade e telefone, são bons exemplos. Mas ninguém lê que graças a um pé na bunda, Benjamin Franklin foi pra Europa e começou a crescer profissionalmente (ainda que depois ele voltasse, casasse com ela e a abandonasse – como um bom canalha). Poucos também leram que Graham Bell se dedicou ao telefone na tentativa de ajudar sua mulher deficiente auditiva (mesmo que essa história soe estranha).
Porém, é preciso levantar nossa bola e descrever que além deles temos na história mulheres fortes, lindas e que só não colocaram a vagina na mesa, pois teriam que fazer um espacate, mas certamente sentaram na cara de muita gente pelo mundo…Cleópatra e Joana Dar’c são exemplos clássicos. Mas temos a rainha Leonor de Aquitânia, que ninguém fala, mas foi uma das mulheres mais ricas e poderosas da Idade Média, meu bem. Ela foi rainha da França AND Inglaterra e pariu Ricardo Coração de Leão, apenas!
Também rainha temos a eterna Elizabeth, maravilhosa, que insiste em não morrer só para comprovar que a força É feminina e usa bolsa da mesma cor do seus vestidos.
Artistas da história tem uma lista enorme – por que né? Mulheres sabem das artes, da criação, da criatividade e da porra toda. Camille Claudel era quem realmente fazia as esculturas que seu marido assinava, August Rodin (patriarcado? Óbvio! E tinha gente chamando de amor). Frida Kalo, maravilhosa, sofridíssima e feminista. Tarsila, Pagu, Hilda, Sophia, Gloria, Tina, Clarice, Rita, Djamila, , Linn, Majur, Juliana, Thati, Gabi… putz! Tantos nomes!
Mas aqui, louvemos a maravilhosa Evelyn Castro que atuou como uma mãe raivosa e intolerante, que defende sua cria e mostra mais uma vez que a vagina está na mesa há tempos – à la Porta dos Fundos.
* Juliana Rodrigues, Thati Guimarães e Gabi Niskier são mulheres, roteiristas e ainda por cima muito gatas.
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